When people
are under stress, they will sometimes do things unexpectedly. Conflicts will arise, and relationships
change, sometimes permanently. Friends
become enemies, and alliances with others are not formed from the usual
criteria, but are results of bonding on certain issues.
I recently
observed this behavior in a writing course amongst the mentors of the
class. Remarks were made, offense was
taken, and the battle was on. The
conflict escalated to the point that one of the mentors considered
quitting. This would put the class at
jeopardy, and damage the integrity of the instructors, possibly
permanently. The mentor involved had
been with the school for many years, and had worked her way up to
co-administrator status.
Thankfully,
she has decided not to leave the course, but will try to avoid further
escalation of the incident that started the problem. Her students will continue to enjoy her
expertise, and class will be uninterrupted.
Conflict is
an essential part of any fiction project.
Without it, the story is dull and boring. It was only a coincidence that conflict was
the topic of the lesson for this week.
It was awkward, not only for the mentors involved, but also for the
students and fellow mentors. No one
wanted to take sides. Everyone had an
opinion, but most resisted the temptation to offer it. Everyone not personally involved felt the
need to walk on eggshells around the issue.
There was
conflict in some family issues recently as well. A beloved family member was dying, and the
children were bickering over who should do what to help. Angry words were said, names were called, and
many tears were shed. Stress was causing
conflict.
Thankfully,
the family pulled together enough to be present at the funeral. The planning went relatively smoothly. The surviving spouse is being cared for, and
life is going on. The situation was
created by a lack of communication, frayed nerves, overwork, and raw emotion
from anticipated grief.
The scene is
ongoing. There has been no real
resolution of the conflict as of this time, but I am praying the family will
find some neutral ground on which to
rebuild the relationships . Someday, once
the air has settled, it might be fodder for a fiction story. But for now, it is enough that the family
members are trying to keep it together for the surviving spouse, who needs
help.
Conflict is
always present, sometimes under the surface in family dynamics, sometimes
barely skin deep, with the potential for emotional outbursts. In some families, the relationships are
permanently destroyed, and never recover.
This is a tragedy for any children in these families. But it can be tragic for the elderly as
well. Mothers, who spend their entire
lives raising their children to love one another, see their children squabbling
and at each other’s throats, even on their deathbeds. How sad.
In my
writing, I try to keep some conflict under the surface. It’s what keeps my readers turning the pages,
wanting to know how it all turns out. In
fairy tales, conflicts are almost always resolved and happy endings
result. This does not always happen in
real life, unfortunately. Sometimes an
uneasy truce is all that can be expected.
These are uncertain times.
Economic adversity, warfare, crime, childhood and spousal abuse, all add
to the conflicts in our lives. They are
all topics of possible stories. It’s how
we handle them that makes or breaks our stories, real and fictionally.
